Good disposition

I think having a good disposition is one of the great struggles of these days. Society has become such that we are faced with rude, arrogant, mean people at every turn of our lives. It becomes that much harder when its someone closer to us. Sometimes its our relatives themselves who behave in such a manner that it becomes difficult to maintain good akhlaq. We feel like lashing out, showing our frustration, being rude to them etc. BUT is this the way we should act? I know it's very hard, i only felt the need to write this because sometimes i struggle with this as well. Its obvious that the more closer and attached you are to someone the more power they get over you to hurt you.


Now let us look what Islam teaches us to do in such conditions. We can look at examples from the lives of Ahlul Bayt(s.a) and Quran to learn.

Once A man asked the Holy Prophet: “What is the best of all actions”? The Holy Prophet replied: “Akhlaq”.

The Holy Prophet(saww) has also said: " you should create within yourself the Akhlaq(behavior) of Allah". For example Allah(swt) is merciful: we should be merciful to others. Allah(swt) is forgiving: we should also forgive others when they are at fault. Allah(swt) treats even his enemies with love and magnanimity, we should also do likewise.

ref:On Akhlaq

In a tradition in which Holy Prophet(saww) narrates the true characteristics of a believer he says: ”(The complete true believer is one who) is sweeter than honey; and is stronger than the outside of a rock; and who does not expose the secrets that people confide in him; and if he himself finds out something about other people, he does not expose this information.”
ref:Characteristics of a True Believer– Part V

If we focus on the first part it talks about honey. This means that whoever comes in contact with honey feels a sweetness. Believers should be the same way. Imagine this: if honey was put in something sour, it would turn it sweet. This means that if we come in contact with unpleasant people, we should not let ourselves become unpleasant rather we should act like honey and counter affect their sourness. This is a very difficult thing, but as a wise friend said, practice makes perfect. So the next time, you meet someone rude or mean, think of it as a practice situation.

It may be hard BUT with practice may Allah(swt) give us taufeeq to be patient and kind to those who do wrong unto us....(ameen).