What is Love?

Many times we claim that we love someone or something BUT have we truly analyzed if our love is sincere or true? I was listening to a lecture by Ayt. Aqeel Ul Gharvi and thought he defined love in a beautiful way. If all of us were to apply and use that definition and then claim we love someone, our lives might become more peaceful and conflict free.

Love is nothing but appreciation and respect for someone or something and giving them their right due. In urdu the word of "qadardani" can be used for it. For example Allah(swt) granted parents children. Now love of children means that parents appreciate them and give them their right due. Like if they are hungry, give them food; they need education, give them education; give them water if they are thirsty; give them clothes if they need them etc. In a nutshell appreciate them and give them their right.
Now imagine a mother holding a toddler while he/she is crying out of hunger. If the mother just keeps on saying "my love don't cry" and keeps on patting him without addressing the issue of hunger, would you say the mother loves the kid even if she repeats it a million times that she loves him?!

Therefore appreciation means giving the ones we love their rights. If we say we love someone and don't give them their rights then its not true love. Love means to recognize the other's rights and needs. So if you truly love Allah(swt) and alhulbayt(s.a) then give them their rights and only then would you be able to claim that you love them. Otherwise its nothing but empty claims of love. Saying you love Allah(swt) without praying means you have no love and are just deluding yourself.

Wake up and realize what true love is all about, just celebrating valentines, mother's day, father's day or xyz day doesn't show true love. True love takes place every breathing moment when you recognize the need of your loved ones and fulfill them. Just giving your parents or your spouse flowers on these days means zilch if you are not giving them their due.

Ref:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xFJucGMC7o

The Void...

I usually don't use this blog space as a personal story place but you know how there are some people who are worth mentioning and sometimes you want the whole world to know about them, well my nani(maternal grandmother) was one of those people. She died in the month of Safar this year. Initially i had thought not to talk about her death as i thought it was something too personal to share but over the weeks the feeling of penning about her has gradually increased. You know how the tears and sadness wells up inside you, i think sometimes the only way to let it go is to write it down.

She was one of those lovely people who have truly inspired and helped my personality. In this messed up world full of selfish and mean people she was that safe corner where one could go and hide and forget about everything. Since the time i have been fully aware of my surroundings i have seen her totally focused on her worship and devotion to Ahlulbayt(s.a). But the best thing about her was that she was one of those cool people with whom i could talk about religion as well as watch sports and chill out. It's one of those sweet memories to remember when Pakistan cricket team was about to lose and we used to plead to our nani to start doing tasbeeh for the team. So many of the prayers and duas that i have learned have come from her, i would have been quite ignorant if it weren't for her. I still remember this one time i was staying with her and she asked me to recite Iqbal's poems for her. One memory i think i can never forget is the time when i was little and was left with my nani for babysitting. She used to make the perfect fried eggs with toast n' butter and  a glass of cold mango squash. Then she used to set up everything in a tray and put it infront of me while i watched cartoons. Although over the years i have stopped eating eggs, but i am sure no one can make eggs as good as hers.

Although she lost a young son in her life, i never heard her complain to Allah(swt) or how she had suffered that tragedy. All the time she talked about patience and trust in Allah(swt). I remember the times when anyone of us from the family used to talk about problems and how things are getting difficult...she would always smile her typical soft smile and point above and say that trust in Allah(swt)...HE(swt) always helps.

Now when she is not here, looking back at her life makes me realize how piety truly moulds a person. Her prayers had made her mind so alert that even in pain and in her old age she was well aware of her surroundings and for a moment did not leave her senses. When she was about to die she was speaking out in pain but when the moment came really near she just stopped the pain sounds and started slowly reciting some duas or some Dhikr. This made me realize that no matter how much wealth people think they can accumulate in the end it's only your piety that is going to get you through to the other end. Her life also makes me reflect on the narration that says that live life in a manner that when you die everyone cries for you. She was a true embodiment of that. Everyone from close friends, to domestic helpers to far off friends and families broke down after hearing about her death. And people couldn't stop saying what a great person she truly was. I can go on an on about her but the space and time is limited. Suffice is to say she was truly one of the awesomest person i have ever had the pleasure of knowing.

I don't know whether i was that perfect granddaughter or not but still she showered me with so much love and attention. Even a few days before her death when i went to meet her, she was so overexcited and overjoyed to see me that for a moment i was taken aback at the deep sense of love that i felt from her. Time spent with her are some of the warmest moments of my life when i knew that this person loved me for me and not for something that i had or for something selfish. It was one of those selfless love so hard to find these days. I can't describe the void left in my life with her death, she was the last link to that generation and time which still showed hope of selflessness and sincerity.  Even when she is gone, she has left her legacy of duas and devotion to Ahlulbayt(s.a) for me; the last thing that i inherited of her is her dua book, covered in a cloth specially sewn by her.

I just hope and pray that Allah(swt) eases things for her in her after life. If you ever read through this please pray for her maghfirat and say a surah Fatiha for her.

10 Ways to Avoid Marrying the Wrong Person

With the current breakdown in the institution of marriage, i thought this article would be worth sharing with everyone.

10 Ways to Avoid Marrying the Wrong Person

I especially liked this part which i feel is very prevalent in Pakistan society. People are so awed by the outer appearance and the materialistic value of the person that they forget to see what truly matters.

The fact is no one looks 25 forever.  Ultimately, we love the person we marry for more than their appearance.  When we get to know someone we love and admire, we’ll love them for their inner beauty and overall essence.

Morality and spirituality are the qualities that truly define someone in addition to beauty, money, and health.  The morally upright and spiritual person will stand by your side during adversity and hardship.  If someone isn’t God-conscience and doesn’t take themselves into account with God then why should you expect them to fulfill their rights owed to you? The ideal partner is someone who considers giving a gain and not causing a loss.  Having a mutual and shared spiritual relationship will foster a successful marriage.  Furthermore, a successful marriage is one that keeps the laws of family purity which require a certain degree of self-control and self-discipline, as well as the belief that the physical side of the relationship includes the spiritual and emotional side as well.  Finding commonality and balance between the spiritual and emotional aspects of a relationship is a strong key to a healthy and thriving marriage. 

Typical

Sometimes i get labeled for being a cynic and a pessimist BUT really its amusing that even when i try to give people the benefit of the doubt it always turns back to that original cynical deduction...Ironic?! Lol...sometimes people and things are too amusing!


Like usually someone you know calls you up and you feel that initial delight with that lingering negative  thought that maybe they need something from you BUT you push it back thinking no they might just be missing you or want to talk to you. *Sigh* how wrong could one be...*sarcastic smile* [wish blog had some emoticons]. Well should i really blame them or am i the same way...*wonders*.  Have we become so embroiled in our own little world, trying every moment to catch up to this world which keeps on alluding us?! Are we also part of that crazy race to reach the top of the materialistic pyramid?! Is every relation and everything just about getting favors from people?! Has the sincere love between relations vanished....just to be replaced by a materialistic relationship?!

Just before you go to sleep, dwell on the fact that how many people and relations you just call or ask about when you need a favor. Sad Times!!!

May Allah(swt) hasten the reappearance of Imam(ajtf).

So you think you are a shia?!

This is what Imam Jaffar Sadiq(a.s) had to say about shia:

Surely, we (the Ahl al-Bayt) were created from the divine light (nur) of Allah and our Shia (followers) were created from other than this divine light (nur - of a lower grade). So then when the Day of Judgment takes place, the lower grades will be joined with the higher grades (of light).

Then he (prayers be upon him) put his two fingers together (index and middle finger) and said to him (al-Mufaddhal), “Just like this (will these two divine lights be joined together).”

The Imam (prayers be upon him) then said to him (al-Mufaddhal): “O’ Mufaaahal! Do you know why the Shia have been call Shia? O’ Mufaddhal our Shiaa (true followers) are from us (from our divine light) and we in turn are from our Shia. Do you see where this sun rises from?”.

I (al-Mufaddhal) said, “It rises from the East.”
The Imam (prayers be upon him) then asked, “And where does it return to?”
I (al-Mufaddhal) said, “It sets in the West.”
'
The Imam (prayers be upon him) then said, “Our Shia are just the same as this (the way the Sun rises and sets).
They have come from us (our direction) and thus, they will return to us (our presence).” 

ref:http://www.al-mubin.org/attachments/174_Question%20from%20Imam%202.pdf

Now ask yourself are you worthy of this definition? Can you still call your self a shia or just simply a lover of Ahlulbayt(s.a)?! Don't give yourself a title and think all those ahdith gloirfying shia are for us....those are for the shia of this definition!

Ray of Light...

I realize that everything in Pakistan is a disappointment these days, not a waking moment goes by when you feel this depressive feeling and heart sinking when thinking about whats happening to this country. I think i have now gone into denial mode about the condition of Pakistan by following the policy of "ignorance is bliss". I don't remember the last time i had something to smile about when thinking about the country or seeing the people around me, that's why i was really pleasantly surprised by an incident this morning.

As i was parked at a red light, i suddenly heard people arguing loudly. Upon turning i saw a middle aged woman with her daughter fighting with the driver of a rickshaw. The guy was literally in the woman's face, screaming at her. And once again i got that sharp depressive feeling realizing what has happened to this society where a man can't even respect a female enough to talk to her politely and with respect no matter how angry he is. Not only was this guy screaming at the woman but he was doing so loudly that all the traffic that had stopped  at the light was looking at what was going on. Now just imagine, standing at the road side with your young daughter while a guy is screaming at you and you are exposed to every strange eye. How worse can one feel?!

Just when i was about to enter that dark place of depression thinking that Pakistan has really become a hellhole(even that sounds a polite way of saying what is happening to the country), the shouting and arguing stopped. At that moment i realized a guy on a bike a few paces away from us had given money to the rickshaw driver, ending the argument and putting the woman out of her misery. Suddenly a ray of light pierced the dark place spreading a warm feeling in me. It made me realize why this country is still functioning...MAYBE JUST MAYBE a few decent people are still left in the country.

Do you realize what a small action of that guy did? You should think about such things when you complain and rant and wonder whats happening to the country....think about how such little acts can better the country. Although the pessimist that i am, i will not fail to mention(Ha Ha) that not a single male present in the long cue of traffic had the decency of getting out and telling the driver to back off and leave the woman alone. Anyways gotta take the little rays, maybe one day we might just have sunshine!

Protection from Satan Series-Part I

I had read a book a while back titled "Ista'aaza;Seeking Allah's Protection from Satan" by Shaeed E Mehrab Ayatollah  Abdul Hussain Dastghaib Shirazi.

Ayatollah Abdul Hussain Dastghaib Shirazi

I have started to read it again and thought i should summarize its main points and helpful things so that others can benefit from it as well. In this first part i will outline the various duas we should recite at different times and places to gain protection.

At the time of wearing the clothes one should say:

Allahumma astarurati wa la tajal alshaitan lahu naseeba

Translation: O Allah keep my private parts hidden and save them from the interference of Shaitan

while going to a washroom one should recite:

Allahumma inni a-oozu beka min al khabeesil khabs ar rijs al khabs ash sahaitan ir rajeem

Translation: O Allah I seek Your Protection from the accursed Satan and the defiled impurities) 

Recite the following supplication at the moment of emerging out of the house:

Bismillahi wa billahi aamanto billahi tawakkalto alallaha wa la haula wa la quwawata illa billa

Translation: In the name of Allah and with His Help I am proceeding on my errand. I have absolute Faith in the Great Allah and there is no power besides Him. 

ref:Ista'aaza; Seeking Allah's Protection from Satan